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Another Day in Paradise

Well for all the swearing he did that he was going to get his act together at the services hearing, I’m surprised that I am saying this evening that bio dad did not show for his visit today.
Visitation consists of waking up early, getting A to either school or to a friend who is willing to watch him now that school is out, and driving one hour to the social services office. I pack diapers for bio dad to use, bottles, food and a blanket for her to play on. I lug all of this in to the office and sit for two hours while they play. (or less if he cuts the visit short, which happens frequently). Today I waited 20 minutes (the required is 15) and then I lugged all of her stuff back to the car and drove an hour back home.
This sucked even more due to the fact that I was up all night with both kids, one teething and one having asthma problems. Both were tired, whiny, and didn’t want to get up. After getting approximately two hours of sleep, I was tired, whiny and didn’t want to get up!!
Since his visits have been lessened to only one time a month, he won’t be able to see her again until mid July. Days like today I just don’t feel the sympathy for him that I usually feel.

The good news is that we got back into town early enough to go to my Aunt’s house and swim!

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Baby girl is SO content in the water. And I know I’ve said it a million times, but this amazes me because she was so terrified of it when she first came to us. It is so fun to watch her lazily float around and splash her hands and enjoy it!

Hopefully tonight we will ALL get some sleep and be rested and be a little bit less of a crabby household tomorrow!

I think the fact that husband is out to dinner tonight at a swanky restaurant in an even swankier seaside town and I’ve been with the two crabsters all day means that HE gets to do the dirty work tonight, right?

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June 5 Hearing

Another court hearing today. In one half hour baby’s bio father will be going before the judge. I hate these days. I am anxious and my stomach hurts.
I have a feeling he will get another extension because he passed his drug test last month (and always has because he is not a drug addict and never has been). Never mind that he still has no job, is homeless, is staying in the home of family member who was convicted of and is in jail for child abuse, is not seeing his court ordered therapist and refuses to take his meds.
He didn’t even stay for the whole visit last week. He cut out after an hour.
But I’m sure, because parent rights are far more important than the child’s best interest, he will get an extension. 30 more days to accomplish absolutely nothing.
Am I bitter? Ya, kind of. Because he is not even trying, and yet he keeps getting these extensions. Meanwhile, I was up all night for three nights in a row when she was sick. I’m the one she cries for. I’m the one who takes her to the doctor. I’m the one who rocks her at 3am. I am the one who doesn’t shower and who has insane laundry piles all over my bathroom floor because she wants to be snuggled. I am the one who does all these things willingly and with my heart full of love for this child. It is my husband that she sees when she yells “dad”.
Would I wish for any parent to fail? Absolutely not. But do I think that in this case they already have? Yes.