Is it fair to be mad at someone for being sick? Endometriosis runs in my family. Collectively we are an endometriosis nightmare and many of us wear the battle scars of painful periods, miscarriages and repeated surgeries.
Then there is my mother. In the hospital right now because she has for many years refused to care for herself in anything more than a holistic manner. I am all for holistic healing. I have participated in my share of holistic remedies. However, some things are just too severe. So now she sits (is hopefully sleeping still) in a hospital bed waiting for a day of biopsies and MRIs and surgery scheduling to begin. I pray that it is endometriosis that has attacked her colon and is not something else.
We will cross that bridge if we must come to it.
So here’s the anger part. As soon as she is better in going to kick her ass. Im being kind by not pummeling her up and down the hospital corridors. You see, for months and months as we have watched her turning pale and withering away, we have BEGGED her to see a real doctor. Myself, my brother, grandparents and aunts. We have all begged her repeatedly. PLEASE quit it with this holistic practitioner and go see a real doctor. She is not helping you, you are wasting away.
So it has to come to severe dehydration, malnourishment, severe pain and many other symptoms I will spare her the embarrassment of relaying, as well as CT scans, MRIs, biopsies and the very concerned faces of the doctors and nurses in the ER to finally get her the help she so desperately needs.
I am angry that she let it come to this. That she has treated her body this way. That she wouldn’t allow those of us who love her to help her. That she wouldn’t listen. I hope she is strong when she is released because she has 3 children, 5 sisters and 2 parents who are all PISSED that she wouldn’t allow us to help her sooner. That she didn’t get help sooner. That’s 10 people who very much want to see her get strong and healthy so that, as we’ve told her, we can all take turns knocking some sense into her.
Today is going to be a long, hard day. I pray that the doctors find little more than some severe endometriosis or some colon blockage and that we can remove it and move on. I pray.
Family that reads this, if you were unaware of the situation please let her tell you…
I must get up now, this morning I have my baseline ultrasound, which conveniently, is right around the corner from the hospital my mom is in. It’s going to be a long day, a day of which started only moments ago with an already there Lupron headache. Fingers crossed I have “quiet” ovaries.
One last thing, although they’ll never read this I want to send my condolences to a long ago high school friend who’s mother passed away from cancer this morning. Her mother was the school registrar and would on occasion let us slide on the tardies by slipping us a hall pass. I remember her fondly.