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Caffiene Overload

First off, I’d like to thank Starbucks for making my decaf latte caffinated. I RARELY drinks caffiene and when I do its generally not of the 400mg+ variety. So halfway through my VENTI latte my stomach started feeling funny. I started shaking. My heart started racing.  So great, I treated myself to a $4 drink that I can’t even finish because I already feel about 2 minutes away from a heart attack.

As you can see, the little box is CLEARLY marked decaf. Not only that, but the girl who took my order made the drink. AND I was the only one there. It’s not like she was super busy or got the drinks mixed up…Ok, I’m over it…Okay Im  not and I probably won’t be until I no longer feel like death, but anyway…

In 40 minutes I will be leaving for my doctor appointment. I really hope I can get something done about the way I have been feeling.

I want to know:

  1. Is it the Birth Control that is turning me in to a lunatic monster PMS freak?
  2. Is it the Birth Control that is making me break out like a 14 year old freshman boy?
  3. Is it the Birth Control that is causing me to be bloated, and to wake up with a stomach ache every freaking morning?
  4. What can I do about this major depression I am sinking into? I want to WANT to get out of bed. I would like to NOT be a bleary-eyed bloodshot mess by 7pm every night. I want to be interested in something again.
  5. Why does my office smell like old cream cheese? Ok maybe my doctor won’t be able to answer that but its an extremely valid question at this point in time. Who is eating What??

On another note, I may be becoming completely delusional. I have actually been thinking to myself, get ready for it….Maybe husband and I should try naturally again for a little while,cus, you know,  it could happen…YOU SEE? CLEARLY I am in dire need of the doctor appointment I have scheduled for this afternoon. I have gone completely mental.

Welcome to Crazy Town, Population 1

Holy Wow. I am a raving lunatic today. Like a full-fledged crazy. What triggered it? I have NO IDEA. I think maybe the fact that my cramps are getting progressively worse. Like It hurts to stand up all the way straight kinda worse. I just don’t want them. Don’t want what they represent. Don’t want them.

Does anyone have any idea, can birth control pills cause extreme insanity during PMS? Like PMS x 1000? I mean beside the acne they’re causing, and the extreme difficulty in losing weight even with watching my diet and running 3-4 miles a day. But ok, the acne and the weight “plateu” I can deal with. This insanity? This calling my husband on the phone and making to him listen to me cry because I have no idea why I’m crying and all I know is that I can’t stop and that I’m drowning in emotions I can’t even begin to name muchless explain? I can’t handle this. I’m sure he can’t handle this. I just want to go home and go to bed. In fact, I think I will. Or at least go home to a heating pad. I want to go home and be happy, dammit, and smile and have a good time with my family and not feel like I am doing everything I can to keep my head above water.

Ok so on a lighter note, anyone with endo ever buy the endo-resolve (or similar) endometriosis diet book? Worth the money? Anyone have any brilliant body changes by changing thier diet or is it all a bunch of hooplah? Oh ok, I’ll admit it, I’m at the point that I’m all about hooplah and trying ANYTHING that might work. I mean hello, my bathroom counter looks like the vitamin isle at Walgreens. Who’s blog was it that I read that she called the unborn baby psychic? Can I get that number? =) AYYYYYYGAAAADDDDD… See? NUTS, I tell you! (no offense to the unborn baby psychic caller-I totally feel you). And then, there is an acupuncturist in my town that actually acts as a medium for your body and allows your body to speak to you. I went to her once on accident not knowing that my body would have so much to say (or that the body-medium thing would even happen) but now? I may go back. I’d like to have a little chit-chat with this freaking endometriosis and tell it to back the hell down, while also finding out what the hell it exactly has against me to be causing me so much pain?

OMG. anyway, like I said, Crazytown, population 1, thats me…