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June 5 Hearing

Another court hearing today. In one half hour baby’s bio father will be going before the judge. I hate these days. I am anxious and my stomach hurts.
I have a feeling he will get another extension because he passed his drug test last month (and always has because he is not a drug addict and never has been). Never mind that he still has no job, is homeless, is staying in the home of family member who was convicted of and is in jail for child abuse, is not seeing his court ordered therapist and refuses to take his meds.
He didn’t even stay for the whole visit last week. He cut out after an hour.
But I’m sure, because parent rights are far more important than the child’s best interest, he will get an extension. 30 more days to accomplish absolutely nothing.
Am I bitter? Ya, kind of. Because he is not even trying, and yet he keeps getting these extensions. Meanwhile, I was up all night for three nights in a row when she was sick. I’m the one she cries for. I’m the one who takes her to the doctor. I’m the one who rocks her at 3am. I am the one who doesn’t shower and who has insane laundry piles all over my bathroom floor because she wants to be snuggled. I am the one who does all these things willingly and with my heart full of love for this child. It is my husband that she sees when she yells “dad”.
Would I wish for any parent to fail? Absolutely not. But do I think that in this case they already have? Yes.

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About Tricia #GrowingUpNelson

First grandaughter, mother of two, lover of books and bad music, aspiring to be a mostly vegan always vegetarian. Nearly 365 days Xanax free and hating it. #GrowingUpNelson

5 responses »

  1. I agree they have, too. I’m hoping the next hearing surprises you and that she will soon be yours. xoxo

    Reply
  2. Hoping for the best for you guys. Let us know how it goes.

    Reply
  3. This is the part of the system that I think is broken beyond repair. The fact is, the bar is too low. The biological father is in no way in a place where he can safely raise this child and yet, time and again, the system will default to extensions. I understand how serious terminating parental rights are, but seriously? If you’re going to hold those of us who want to adopt to a certain standard, at least hold the birth parents to half of that.

    I’m beyond frustrated for you. This is completely unfair to everyone involved (including the bio father). Hopefully the next hearing will lead to movement forward instead of being stuck in limbo. In the meantime, I wish you and your family peace.

    Reply
  4. I just hope that the judge he has to appear before has enough common sense to realize that this guy does not appear to be currently fit to parent. Also, I think Cristy said it very well in her comment when she talked about the different standards that adoptive vs bio parents have to meet. Best wishes.

    Reply
  5. It’s so unfair. No wonder you’re frustrated. Wishing you and baby girl the best!

    Reply

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