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Response to Today’s Hate Mail

I think that for the people who know me in real life, and for those that read my blog, or share similar blogs, they are aware of the little bits of sarcasm, facetiousness, etc, that are used as a way to take a break from the seriousness of it all. For any of you wondering, no I would not seriously “steal” a child. However, I WOULD take in a child who has been
languishing in the foster care system for 9+ months due to neglectful and violent parenting. I don’t think that is in any way wrong. I don’t think it is wrong to develop a bond or love, clothe and feed a child who, at three months of age weighed only 9 pounds. I don’t think it is wrong of me at all to wake up twice a night for bottle feedings or to spend two weeks coaxing the child into the tub because she is terrified of water. I don’t think that it is wrong to rock her to sleep or to comfort her when she cries.

All of these things I have done are much more than anyone biologically related to her have done in her short life.

Adopting an abused and neglected child from the foster care system is an act of love. Pure and simple.

**UPDATED: also, anyone who claims that they have pure and perfect thoughts all of the time are liars. What separates the normal from the truly fucked up is that WE DON’T ACT ON OUR EVERY THOUGHT AND EMOTION.

**UPDATED #2: Also, while I don’t care for negativity on my blog I will also not hide from it. Hence the reason I approved the comment and responded.


12 responses »

  1. People can be so hurtful. And for what? There was no point to that comment other than to insult. What you are doing is amazing and generous and unselfish and loving! That little girl is where she is meant to be. Hugs to you, Mama.

  2. Please! you said yourself that you are plotting unorthodox ways to keep this child, and its WRONG. you have had this child a month, and its glaringly obvious that you are letting your barrenness affect your judgement. you are in no mind to be caring for children, or even being allowed NEAR children. the next step is to gut a pregnant woman and steal her child, i imagine.

    • Oh my gosh I take it back. Its called exaggeration. I’m sorry that I exaggerated. Also, I am in fact not “barren” and have a biological child. Thank you kindly.

      Please just go away. I don’t care to have hatefulness here. Please take it somewhere else.

    • I am barren. I want a child. I am not a criminal. This comment is very hurtful.

    • I intensely dislike the term barren, it is antiquated, hurtful and very unkind, and this is a deeply deeply cruel comment to make. I hasten to add it is your warped mind that is coming up with hideous and cruel thoughts of harm. How dare you judge someone who is caring for a needy child with love and affection. It is obvious for those of us who read with compassion in our hearts that these comments were flippant and simply made to lighten the mood of a tragic situation. Take your trolling and disappear back under the bridge your crawled out from. You are not welcome here.

  3. Omg, how horribly hateful!! I’m so so sorry you’re having to deal with comments like this on top of everything else.

  4. Absolutely. 100% agree with what you’re saying. People who have not gone through IF and all the loss and heartache that comes with it sometimes cannot get it. Why is it that no matter which route(s) we choose to overcome our fertility challenges we feel guilty about it? It’s awful. All we want is to be mothers, and I feel so sad that every choice we make in order to achieve this goal is scrutinized and judged.

    You are doing the right thing. And facing it with humour. Of course you are not a baby snatcher! This is absurd! You are a mom, through and through, and love this little girl. I am rooting for you. Your little girl deserves the best outcome in life, and, in my opinion, your actions and thoughts are to protect her, not yourself.

    Hang in there. We’ve got your back.

  5. It’s obvious to anyway who has met Avery and seen the two of you together, that you were meant for each other. I believe everything you have been through has just been on your path to find her. I have so much admiration for you for adopting that sweet little girl as your own, giving her the life her biological parents couldn’t/wouldn’t, and loving her the same way you love Aidan. That person who is leaving heartless comments on your blog must be a very sad individual, and they don’t deserve a second of your time. You’re an amazing mother, Trish.


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