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SW Visit

Yesterday the social worker came to visit. He reiterated what he said over the phone the day before and threw in yet another zinger. The father said in court yesterday that he doesn’t know if the baby is his. WTF? Then why are you there?

The one family member in question for adopting her is a paternal relative who has not once called back in the 2.5 months since she was first told what needed to be done in order to take baby girl into her care. The mother asked yesterday if baby was with her. That leads me to believe they don’t even have regular contact with this family member. Also, it leads me to believe that the father may have mentioned the questionable paternity. Or, it could be that this YOUNG relative is being pressured to adopt but doesn’t want to. Who knows? I really need to quit speculating.

All I know is that I love this little girl and in my heart I believe she belongs here with us. I have to believe that two fertility cycles, two miscarriages, two d&c procedures and one failed adoption match weren’t just senseless twists of fate. I have to believe that these heartbreaking things happened because of her. Because we were meant to parent her.
I also have learned that I am a fairly warped individual and have come up with several plans to ensure her stay that raise even husbands eyebrow. (Don’t fuck with this new mama bear).

This roller coaster is similar to the 2ww. Or to those first few uncertain weeks of pregnancy. I am still infertile. I am still unsure. I am uneasy. One minute I am elated and the next Im crying. I’m sure she’s staying and then Im thinking I may as well go pack her bags.
But I an in it for the long haul. We are in love.
***UPDATE 5/17: to those who do not understand when someone exaggerates to make a point, I apologize. I know what I said and I am deeply sorry. I guess i shouldn’t have mentioned what most people, including my husband, take as a JOKE. an over exaggeration of real life. I really didn’t mean that I was going to find these people (how? No clue). I have no intention of stealing a child, nor do I have any intention of “plotting” against the parents. Jeez people. I won’t at any time befriend a pregnant person to steal her unborn child. Not to worry my pregnant friends, you will not hear my maniacal laughter as I sit awaiting your labor from the shadows! Rest easy….
I swear to you shit like this is why I stopped writing.


15 responses »

  1. I have everything crossed for you guys! I was actually thinking that with everything you have been through, surely this is what is meant to be. I know you have a long, emotional road ahead of you. I’m here if you need anything at all. (Big hugs)

  2. I want this for you so much. When you described her snuggling into your neck in your last post, I just thought, this little lady needs you. This is where she is meant to be. I have everything crossed and will be thinking of you all.

  3. Wow, so you would fuck over someone to steal their child, because you cant have any? you suck!!! i would totally love to track you down and share this little tidbit with the court!

    • I think that for the people who know me in real life, and for those that read my blog, or share similar blogs, they are aware of the little bits of sarcasm, facetiousness, etc, that are used as a way to take a break from the seriousness of it all. For any of you wondering, no I would not seriously “steal” a child. However, I WOULD take in a child who has been
      languishing in the foster care system for 9+ months due to neglectful and violent parenting. I don’t think that is in any way wrong. I don’t think it is wrong to develop a bond or love, clothe and feed a child who, at three months of age weighed only 9 pounds. I don’t think it is wrong of me at all to wake up twice a night for bottle feedings or to spend two weeks coaxing the child into the tub because she is terrified of water. I don’t think that it is wrong to rock her to sleep or to comfort her when she cries.

      All of these things I’ve done are much more than anyone biologically related to her have done in her short life.

      Adopting an abused and neglected child from the foster care system is an act of love. Pure and simple.

      • I hope ignorant comments like this don’t upset you too much my dear. It is obvious to all of us who follow your journey what a loving and generous person you are. There is no better place for that little girl than in your loving arms. I get so mad at the system that puts parents rights about the welfare of the child. This sort of thing makes me sick.

      • Thank you! Yes I did let it bother me a little bit, but yesterday was a bad say all around and I was feeling more sensitive than usual I think. Today is a new day, right?! =)

    • This is a horrible, ugly thing to say to someone you do not know.

      • Thank you Belle! Guess what? We’re selfish if we do IVF because of all the orphans. If we adopt we’re selfish for stealing someone else’s child. None of this is about hate or selfishness. It’s about love.

      • Absolutely. I have zero tolerance for rude comments on ALI blogs. We have had plenty of “punishment” in life and don’t need more from people who have never walked in our shoes.

  4. You are awesome. And very funny. Don’t worry about nay-sayers hun! The rest of us totally get it. 🙂

  5. Alicia sent me a link to this post. Ignore the comment from xerxolore. Seriously an incredibly ignorant and selfish thought. You are not “stealing” someone’s child. Far from it. You are actually giving this child a chance! You are opening your heart, your home and your family to this little girl, something that she probably has never had. And that is amazing. Completely amazing. Our society, hell planet, would be far better off if more parents were like you and your husband.

    I will be thinking of you and keeping your family, including this child, in my prayers in the days and weeks to come. Love and light.

  6. I also found your blog through Alicia. You are an amazing woman and this little girl is so lucky to have you in her life. Hoping and praying that everything works out well for you! And don’t listen to the naysayers…you are giving this child the love and stability that she deserves.


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