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Big Surprise, Little Package

I haven’t written in a long time. A SUPER long time. I tried to for a while, but just couldn’t. Oddly, it didn’t have so much to do with my feelings as it did an IRL person reading my blog and using it against me. That shut me down. I took it too personally I guess.

Well a lot had happened since then. Namely a certain 11 month old baby girl who is, I think, currently spit painting my fire place glass as I sit and watch. (don’t worry it’s a completely enclosed model).
Anyway, baby girl came to us nearly three weeks ago out of the foster care system. (After only 4 days notice! Holy cow!) She was tiny, not crawling and timid. She spent 3 days with her face in my neck. It took two weeks to get her in a bath, and 1.5 weeks to get her to allow me to sponge bathe her without her screaming. She never stops eating. She eats like it’s her last meal. She might think it is. I don’t know. Either way, baby girl seems to have no problem bonding, is NOW crawling (just 3 days after the SW said she was going to order physical therapy to work with her and get her going). She loves bath time. She never stops smiling. She is still timid with new people but warms up. She now has elbow dimples and fat rings on her legs, and her skin is a healthy non-sickly white color. She has cheeks. I don’t know if it’s possible but even her hair seems healthier. Basically, she looks like the almost 1 year old she should look like, not like the infant she did look like.
Today is the first hearing to start terminating the bios parental rights. I feel too much empathy for them my husband says, as she was severely neglected the first (nearly) three months of her life and has been in foster care for nearly nine.
I am freaking out. I want to know that today’s hearing has gone in our favor. That her parents, who went from living in squalor to now being homeless, her parents who have not worked a single portion of her case plan, her parents who have been MIA for the last three weeks, will not get a second chance. They have not even tried.
I am living in fear that a family member will show up out of the blue. But then again, where were they the last 9 months that she has been in foster care? As my dad said last night, in any “normal” family the situation would have been handled before baby girl even got removed. In a “normal” family, baby girl would not have sat in foster care for nearly nine of her 11 months.
For me, I can’t see how someone could NOT WANT this child. I can’t see how anyone could harm a hair on her head, or turn a blind eye and let her sit in a foster home for months on end. And maybe it’s because I’m think as myself, that I am terrified.
Maybe if I learned to think like them, I could understand how they don’t care. Thank G-d I don’t think like them. I can’t even imagine.
I know every child SHOULD be with their birth parents. But let’s face it. They’re not competent. And either the grandparents aren’t competent or they don’t care.
I care.
My husband cares.
My son cares.
PLEASE send thoughts, energy and prayers this way if you get a chance. We are in love and we want to dedicate our lives to baby girl.
We don’t want to lose her.


11 responses »

  1. You got it! Tons, heaps and piles of good thoughts coming your way. Please keep us posted! xoxo (Also, you have been missed! I’m glad to see you back. I have been thinking about your mother and hope she is doing better.)

    • Thank you! I have been on twitter and I have been following blogs (congrats!!!!) just not writing. Mom is doing well, currently cancer free and finishing up chemo. We pray she stays that way! We have a lot to be hopeful for but also a lot to lose around here lately!! Trying to have faith and believe everything happens for a reason! Again congrats!! Oh, and regarding your last blog post, I get zip lock bags too, and I still have my sons. It’s not weird…I don’t think =)

  2. I feel like we’re almost in the same spot right now, with every reason to be hopeful for an outcome in our favor, yet still so full of fear and worry. I have to have faith in the system for us, and I have just as much faith in it for you.

    I missed you, and I’m so glad your mom is doing well!!

  3. It’s so good to hear from you! Thinking of you and hoping for the best! Please let us know how the hearing goes!

  4. Keeping fingers crossed for you!

  5. bettyrubble74

    You’re post so touched me! We adopted our son, and are entereing into the foster parenting foray as well. My heart breaks for these babies (children) but I am so glad to know there are folks like you who take them in and love them unconditionally! Good luck, and lost of support and hugs!!!

  6. Sending you tons of positive thoughts! Hope baby girl can stay with you permanently xoxo

  7. Here from LFCA – many thoughts and prayers sent your way. I have an adopted sister through the foster system that I can’t imagine life without ….it’s an impossibly anxiety producing way to come to parenting …but so worth it when it works. I wish you and your baby girl strength on this journey!

  8. Here from LFCA – this is amazing, thank you so so so much for this post! Fingers and toes crossed for you… your post literally brings me chills. Oh I hope it all goes in your favour! So much hope heading your way! Please keep us posted and let us know what happens! I am on the edge of my seat!

    I’ve added you to my blog list and look forward to following your journey! 🙂

    Alicia @


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