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My Story

I can honestly say that I went through hell this weekend and made it out the other side. I want to record what happened here. If you are worried about TMI, I understand if you don’t wish to continue reading. However, I was very thankful for DeadCowGirl’s account of what she went through during her miscarriage. I’d like to provide the same for others who are both scared as hell and wondering what might happen to them.

01/03/2011: 9am appointment at 6 Week 5 Day scan shows only a gestational sac. Sac is measuring on target. Nurse says she will consult with doc about whether we will wait for another scan or stop meds. Nurse asks whether I prefer a natural miscarraige or a D&C. As I had just had a D&C 5 months ago and was concerned about scarring, I told her I’d like to try and do it naturally. She warned me of the time it may take and the pain involved. 4pm the nurse calls and says Dr. K is “comfortable” with my stopping the meds. I do not take my evening doses.

01/04 & 01/05: I have cramps here and there but am still experiencing pregnancy symptoms. At this point I am considering D&C because it is mentally strenuous to be throwing up and having all the other symptoms of pregnancy knowing that you aren’t really pregnant. On 01/05 in the afternoon the RE’s office calls and says it will be $2900 to perform the D&C if I use my insurance, $2200 if I don’t. I laugh really hard. My decision is made. I will not be paying nearly as much as I paid to have the embryos transferred, to have them removed. On Thursday we have to go to a colleague’s house about an hour away and sign business documents. I am cramping but trying to play it cool. We take a winding mountain road home. At the bottom of the pass we pull into the parking lot of a liquor store and I vomit into a trash can and cry. For a full ten minutes.

01/06: Cramps increase througout the day although I don’t have any type of spotting until later that night. I go out and buy ginormous, heavy flow pads. At approximately 8pm it starts, although it remains fairly light throughout much of the next day.

01/07: I am on the couch for much of the day with cramps. I am taking norcos, which make me a little bit more high than vicodin does, but which I am apparently not allergic to. Husband has friends over and tries to keep everyone outside, but I have kids coming in and out of the house most of the day and have to see my brother-in-law and two of his friends a couple of times. I’m sure they were frightened by me, as I looked a hellish mess. I went to bed at around 8:30pm and slept like crap. Took a norco every four hours.

01/08: Got up at 8am and sat on the toilet. I was in excruciating pain and last does of painkiller had worn off. Husband had fallen asleep in the playroom with son so I was alone. I screamed his name, yelled out in pain, texted him twice and called his phone. He finally came in at about 8:30. By  8:40am I had managed to produce a small bowel movement and nothing more. I went back to bed. For the next 3.5 hours I proceeded to have contraction like cramps every one to two minutes. The pain was pretty intense. Husband stayed with me for most of that time. At right about noon, I felt something leaking. I went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. Over the next ten minutes I passed everything. It was painful and scary and felt like nothing I had every felt in my life. I was extremely hot and was sweating and shaking uncontrollably. Husband was downstairs so I called to him and he came in. He sat with me until I was finished. Just as the flow was ending I lost it mentally for a minute. I was sobbing and couldn’t stop. Husband Helped me get back to the bed and lay down. I couldn’t look at what was in there, but he did, and confirmed that it looked as though the sac and everything had passed. I continued to cramp for the next hour or so but it was much less intense. I got up to check my pad, and oddly, there was hardly any blood on it. I sat down on the toilet and passed a little bit more. I decided then that I wanted to shower, which I did but it was extemely difficult because I was so incredibly weak.

Since then I have been laying in bed drinking juice and looking at Pinterst. I just ate a couple of rolled tacos. I’m no longer cramping at all and just feel incredibly tired. All in all it took 6 days from my confirmation ultrasound to finish. It has not been an easy week. I am thankful for all my blogger and twitter friends who have had similar awful experiences and who helped me get through. And helped me stay somewhat sane.

I wish it didn’t have to happen this way, but I am thankful that I  have gotten through it.

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About Tricia #GrowingUpNelson

First grandaughter, mother of two, lover of books and bad music, aspiring to be a mostly vegan always vegetarian. Nearly 365 days Xanax free and hating it. #GrowingUpNelson

8 responses »

  1. I’m so very sorry that you had to go through this. And I’m glad it’s over so you can start healing and moving on.

    *hugs*

    Reply
  2. You are very brave. Please know I’m thinking of you and your family. I hope you recover quickly. Just wishing you didn’t have to go through this. All the best. Big hugs.

    Reply
  3. So very sorry for you. I can’t imagine what you are going through but know that I’m thinking about you. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Reply
  4. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You are in my prayers.

    Reply
  5. You are an amazingly tough woman. I’m sending you love and comfort as your body heals.

    Reply
  6. How awful, I’m so sorry. Take very good care of yourself.

    Reply
  7. What an ordeal – you are so strong. You are so brave to share your story, that I am just catching up with now. I can’t believe the journey you are going through – it is so tough, and painful, and here you are, sharing your story with such warmth and humor.

    Thanks for your blog. Amy

    Reply

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