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Ultrasound #1

I’m so scared. Tomorrow is ultrasound #1. I’m TERRIFIED. I have been SO sick for the last week. Of course today it has let up. That scares me. I hate this waiting game. I hate these first few weeks. I want to be 12 weeks… 36 weeks… I want to be able to feel more confident. I want to be able to think ahead and plan and daydream. Im tired of analyzing every symptom or lack there of. I’ve thrown up four times today but haven’t been sick enough to take a zofran. In my twisted mind, not being sick enough for a zofran and only throwing up four times spells trouble. I also had a little smidge of brown discharge when I wiped earlier. A minuscule amount. Barely visible and only once. But once is enough to set me off. It happened with both my previous pregnancies. With my son and with my miscarriage, so I can’t say it’s a good sign or a bad sign. It just is. I am still SO constipated. I have cramps and a back ache but I’m nearly certain that it is due to this little problem of being unable to go. I made the mistake of googling today. Everything is this: such and such could be normal in early pregnancy…or it could be a sign of impending miscarriage. Huh. Well. It could be nothing or it could be everything.

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About Tricia #GrowingUpNelson

First grandaughter, mother of two, lover of books and bad music, aspiring to be a mostly vegan always vegetarian. Nearly 365 days Xanax free and hating it. #GrowingUpNelson

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