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Thanksgiving 2011

The past few days have been beyond rough. Especially since the regular doctors left for the holiday and allowed Doctor Doom and Gloom to stand in. Dr. Doom and Gloom threw me through a loop after all the hope that Doctor “that British guy”, as my mom calls him, gave us. I must admit to a total emotional breakdown in the arms of my aunt around 7pm this evening. I can only handle so much. I just wish she was doing better. She was hitting all her markers and without warning started to backslide horribly. I have no idea what is going on. I am tired, I am emotionally drained, I miss my family, my house is a mess and while i want to spend 8 hours a day plus 2 hours drive time to be with my mom, I just don’t think I can keep up this schedule. It is breaking me already. I need to know when to say when and according to my Aunt, that time has arrived.

In other news, a tad twingy and lots of cervical mucous. Still only side effects. Oh and starting to break out again.

Happy thanksgiving to you all. I wish i was feeling a bit more thankful and hopeful. Unfortunately, and not to be a downer, that’s just not the case. I’m sorry. I hope you all had a wonderful day.


About Tricia #GrowingUpNelson

First grandaughter, mother of two, lover of books and bad music, aspiring to be a mostly vegan always vegetarian. Nearly 365 days Xanax free and hating it. #GrowingUpNelson

6 responses »

  1. I’ve been keeping up with your story, but haven’t had a chance to comment. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. I just read 90 Minutes in Heaven this week, it’s worthwhile especially in times like this.



  2. I just want so badly to come take care of you! I hope things are looking a little better today.

  3. Sometimes they do go back before they go forward again when dealing with cancer. The body is going through a lot and it just can’t always go like it should. It’s not easy – hell, HARD doesn’t even cut it, really – and having docs give differing opinions just doesn’t help. I remember wanting a timeline of what to expect, when to expect it, and what it meant, and no one would give me even a rough guideline – and I remember being so angry. Dad was taking care of mom, but I was second in line. I was the one who saw her at her worst, not my siblings, and it was so very very hard to be that person. I’m so sorry you have to go through this – my heart hurts for you.


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