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Welcome to Crazy Town, Population 1

Holy Wow. I am a raving lunatic today. Like a full-fledged crazy. What triggered it? I have NO IDEA. I think maybe the fact that my cramps are getting progressively worse. Like It hurts to stand up all the way straight kinda worse. I just don’t want them. Don’t want what they represent. Don’t want them.

Does anyone have any idea, can birth control pills cause extreme insanity during PMS? Like PMS x 1000? I mean beside the acne they’re causing, and the extreme difficulty in losing weight even with watching my diet and running 3-4 miles a day. But ok, the acne and the weight “plateu” I can deal with. This insanity? This calling my husband on the phone and making to him listen to me cry because I have no idea why I’m crying and all I know is that I can’t stop and that I’m drowning in emotions I can’t even begin to name muchless explain? I can’t handle this. I’m sure he can’t handle this. I just want to go home and go to bed. In fact, I think I will. Or at least go home to a heating pad. I want to go home and be happy, dammit, and smile and have a good time with my family and not feel like I am doing everything I can to keep my head above water.

Ok so on a lighter note, anyone with endo ever buy the endo-resolve (or similar) endometriosis diet book? Worth the money? Anyone have any brilliant body changes by changing thier diet or is it all a bunch of hooplah? Oh ok, I’ll admit it, I’m at the point that I’m all about hooplah and trying ANYTHING that might work. I mean hello, my bathroom counter looks like the vitamin isle at Walgreens. Who’s blog was it that I read that she called the unborn baby psychic? Can I get that number? =) AYYYYYYGAAAADDDDD… See? NUTS, I tell you! (no offense to the unborn baby psychic caller-I totally feel you). And then, there is an acupuncturist in my town that actually acts as a medium for your body and allows your body to speak to you. I went to her once on accident not knowing that my body would have so much to say (or that the body-medium thing would even happen) but now? I may go back. I’d like to have a little chit-chat with this freaking endometriosis and tell it to back the hell down, while also finding out what the hell it exactly has against me to be causing me so much pain?

OMG. anyway, like I said, Crazytown, population 1, thats me…


About Tricia #GrowingUpNelson

First grandaughter, mother of two, lover of books and bad music, aspiring to be a mostly vegan always vegetarian. Nearly 365 days Xanax free and hating it. #GrowingUpNelson

9 responses »

  1. I have heard a LOT about endo responding VERY well to gluten-free diets. I know it is a HUGE pain in the arse to go gluten-free, but, if it helps resolve your endo it is certainly worth the trouble. I know on the Fertility Friend forums there are threads dedicated 100% to endo and dietary changes. I have read some very encouraging success stories there. You could sign up and see what other women are trying.

    Something else to consider is seeing a dietitian and/or a naturopath/acupuncturist. I have found my dietitian and acupuncturist to be extremely helpful in the PCOS diet. I am certain they would offer good insight into endo diets. When you call to make your first appointment make sure the doctor specializes in women’s reproductive challenges.

    • My mom is completely gluten free and it seems to work for her for the most part, except the fact that now if she eats ANYTHING with even a little gluten she has the horrible reaction of being sick for a few days. Before we did our first IVF I cut out most red meat and was using gluten free quinoa for everything. Much more $$ but I’m thinking worth it. (1 pack quinoa noodles 2.99 vs. 1 pack whole grain noodle 1.99 vs. 1 pack enriched wheat flour noodles 0.99) but if it needs to be done, it needs to be done. I would just really need to buy a recipe book because sadly, I have NO imagniation when it comes to new things. I will have to take a look at that forum you were talking about. I REALLY need to get a handle on this. I just can’t deal with it anymore.

      • This comment is going to be a book, sorry. First, take your time making changes. DO NOT overwhelm yourself all today. A little bit at a time. Slow and steady wins the crazy race, right? 🙂

        Girl, I can help you with cooking! This is my forte and something that, if I had it to do all over again, I would have done for a living. The BEST book I have found is Appetite for Reduction. It is not “gluten-free” however you can easily substitute gluten containing ingredients.
        All the recipes are vegan, easy to prepare and low cost in mind. Mr. Husband and I have cooked about 1/3 of the book so far and have only hit one meal that was less-than-awesome. I can’t say enough good stuff about this book. Snag it on Amazon for $11 bucks.

        As for the cost of going gluten-free/dairy-free/anything-free, it can be extremely expensive if you let it. There are lots of ways to keep it affordable, though. Golly, I think I should just write a post about this today… Stay tuned for tips on being an infertile with food limitations. 🙂

        And finally, seeking counseling is a very personal choice. Know you are supported no matter what you choose to do. Personally, I try to avoid “happy pills” because of side effects (brain shivers SUCK). I have had really amazing success with talk therapy. Look in your area for a therapist who will agree to treat you without drugs and who has experience in infertility. Schedule a “get-to-know-you” session and see if he/she is a good fit for you. My girlfriend in Texas has found some low-cost counseling that is having a huge and positive impact on her life. You might want to look for options like these in your area. *big hugs* to you right now.

      • I will definately have to look a that cook book. I also do plan on trying to find a therapist, and I do know the side effects of the anti-depressants suck. I will be seeing my doctor tomorrow to try and figure out what will be best. The only thing that I do know is that I CANT keep going like this. For my own sake, for the sake of my marriage, I NEED this horrible feeling to go away. I’m willing to do whatever I have to do whether it be just for the short-term or the long haul or whatever. I’ve reached the point that I KNOW I cant keep up with the way this is going.

      • Ooops, I just combined two comments. The counseling part and stuff is supposed to go with your most recent post. Forgive me, I get way too excited when people talk about food. 🙂

  2. Yes!! They can make me completely nuts. I always got sample packs from my doctor when I was on em, so every few months or years I’d have to switch brands when she stopped getting whatever I was taking. I don’t remember which kind it was, but I only took one pack before begging for something, anything else.

    I have PCOS, not endo, but I’m waiting to see if my new lactose-free diet brings any changes. And it’s okay, who hasn’t tried a bajillion vitamins and supplements and voodoo and burying a potato under the full moon? Wait, I think that’s for warts. But you get the idea. We’re all crazy. Don’t order that population sign for the border of Crazytown until the full census is in.

    • Well I might just be on to something then. I mean I havent been at my best the past couple months, obviously, but I’m at the point where even I’m going WTF is going on in my freakin head right now!! I will definately be asking about a change when I go to the doctor. This is my second month on them and its not pretty. I don’t think this can ALL be just me, otherwise I really am a certifiable lunatic! =)
      How long have you been on the lactose free diet? Is the PCOS diet as scary as the endo diet? By scary I mean NO wheat, dairy, red meat, caffiene, soy or sugar? Basically everything good?! I bought a gluten free/sugar free cook book today so I think I’m going to start there, plus the no caffiene…I think the dairy will be the hardest, only because I LOVE cheese!

      • I just confirmed that I was lactose intolerant a week ago today, so six days! I’ll let you know in a few weeks how it is. PCOS diets are low gi, low carb, or low sugar, mostly how I eat anyway by choice, but a little stricter. I’m considering going gluten free, but there’s no way I can completely cut soy, my husband works at a Chinese restaurant!! It’s hard enough for me to only have sea bass once a month.

  3. Hi, I just stumbled across your blog through the tag surfer and I just wanted to say that it is TOTALLY NORMAL FOR THE PILL TO MAKE YOU CRAZY. I don’t know how long you’ve been on it, but depending on how your hormones are balancing out, it can truly make you insane. I was on one BCP that made me bleed for 30 days straight with horrible cramps the entire time. I then switched to one that made me cry for (literally) 4 days non-stop for no reason whatsoever. I had to fight with the doctor for a new prescription – she wanted me to wait it out for the 3 month “adjustment period” as long as I wasn’t feeling suicidal or homicidal (her exact words). Um, I’m sorry, but there is no reason ON EARTH to take birth control that is making you feel that bad! I pushed her for a new script and eventually found something that was okay for me. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you are not crazy – it’s the pills! Good luck with sorting this stuff out – I also have reproductive health issues, so I feel ya.


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