I know I haven’t really said much about my cycle. I guess I haven’t really been ready. But as I am feeling more healed and nearing a place where I do want to try again, I think it’d be good for me to write about my cycle. I think I got off pretty easy doing a short antagonist protocol. It wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t near the horror stories had read about either.
- Begin 81mg baby asprin, prenatal vitamin and 4mg folic acid daily.
- 05/27-6/9 (began day 3 of cycle) Birth Control Pill to “quiet the ovaries”.
- Baseline Ultrasound 06/08: one small cyst. Blood test to see if it is functional or hormone driven. Call at 3pm tells me it is functional and we are a go.
- Beginning 6/13: 300 IU Bravelle every night at 6pm.
- 06/17: uterine lining is 3 stripe, 9mm. Perfect…Afternoon call informs me that I am to cut Bravelle to 150IU and begin Menopur and ganirelix.
- 06/20:TRIGGER, Ovidrel
- 06/22:Egg retrieval, 18 retrieved, 17 fertilized by ICSI, 8 made it to blast on day 5.
- Begin Prometrium 200mg capsules twice a day, and Endometrin suppositories twice a day.
- 6/27- Embryo Transfer. Transferred 2 Grade AA embryos. Prednisone 20mg for 3 days, bhusand and I both took Zithromax 5o0mg for 3 days.
If you look to the left of the embryos, you can see a mark that indicated the two that were transferred. We called them Hanz and Franz.
- 07/08: Beta #1: 176
- 07/11: Beta #2: 874
- 07/25: Ultrasound #1, “Good Heartbeat, size “on target”
- 08/01: Ultrasound #2, Heartbeat has dropped to 60bpm, no growth since last ultrasound
- 08/05: D&C
So ya. anyway, thats how it went. Like I said, the protocol wasn’t that bad. I was uncomfortable to say the least. It got to the point where it hurt to walk. I couldn’t eat but I gained a good 10lbs while on the meds. It was a bit lonely, because we didn’t tell many people and husband works a lot. I’m ashamed to admit I spent a good part of my 2ww (meaning all waking hours) googling IVF, pregnancy symptoms, miscarriage symptoms, etc…
I didn’t use Lupron, which I was glad about, as most of the horror stories that I had read involved Lupron. But for the most part it was text-book. Everything went exactly as it was planned. Not a single problem. Which, in my cynical, half glass empty head, I saw as a foreboding sign. It CAN’T work out well if it goes perfectly right? I still don’t know what went wrong. I probably never will. I was told the usual, “most like a chromosomal abnormality”. I chose not to do the testing because I was told that there was such a good chance that it would be inconclusive because the fetal demise occured at only around 6weeks. Also, I couldn’t bear the thought of knowing if it would have been a boy a girl. That’s the real truth behind not doing the chromosomal testing. I just couldn’t bear to know what it would have been.
I want to do an FET. I have 6 little embryos waiting for me. A few good, a few fair quality. I want to try again. But I am SO SCARED. I’m afraid to even call the doctors office to make the WTF appointment that I haven’t even had yet. But I’m getting there. I am definately getting there.