This week I will:
1. Be more positive
2. Run every day
3. Eat healthy
4. Start taking my prenatals again
5. Start taking vit E and fish oil again
6. Maybe tan
7. Completely knock out caffiene again
8. Start castor oil packs again
9. Not stress about saving vacation money
10. Not be mad that we can’t try like “normal” people.
I think I’m getting to a place where I really want to try again. If I thought that the adoption thing would actually happen, maybe I wouldn’t be feeling this way. But let’s face it. For a “low-risk” baby we could be looking at a 1-2 year wait. So my plan for this week mostly revolves around taking care of myself again. Because I haven’t been. I’ll admit I stopped doing every healthy thing I was doing when I miscarried. I need to pull myself out if that. I need to take the vitamins and do the things I need to do that I KNOW help me. I also need to get husband back on the proxeed, because I think that did help with morphology, even if it was just a little bit. But hey, any improvement is improvement, right?
I’m just heartbroken right now and it all feels so hopeless. I’m tired of feeling hopeless. This week I’m going to change that I hope. Pull myself up by my bootstraps. I NEED hope.