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So Far Today…

So far today:

  1. I started my first period since my miscarriage, which kinda did a number on the ol’ mental state.
  2. Found the ziplock baggie (that I hid from myself) containing all of the sticks I pee’d on when I was obsessed with making sure I was still pregnant. Blow #2.
  3. Had one major emotional breakdown on the freeway driving to work.
  4. Read an article posted by the NY times about ART. Many of the commenters ignorant comments pushed on my already pushed buttons… It wasnt the article itself, but the comments. Blow #3. (AGAIN! I DO NOT WANT A PUPPY, I WANT ANOTHER FREAKIN KID!)
  5. Posted on blog about annoyingness of fertile people insisting that infertile people take up the world’s orphans. (Heres an idea, Hey! You! Fertile Person! YOU’RE ALLOWED TO SKIP THE BIOLOGICAL PARENTING AND ADOPT TOO!)
  6. Recieved comment from assassinbug, who I quoted as having one of the most angering posts. Enjoyed receiving this comment as it was intelligent, and while an opposing point of view, it was not full of suggestions about puppies and orphans.
  7. Responded to assassinbug that most of us infertiles don’t chose to be so. I know, weird, right? I actually don’t want to have lesions in my uterus or for my husband to have wonky sperm. Also let assassinbug know that I would LOVE to adopt one of the world’s orphans and have actively been trying, but I live in a state that really doesn’t allocate a whole ton of money to placement services, and therefore, I am at a stand still. Hopefully this assassinbug and I can call a truce. The fertile vs. The Infertile. The Logical vs. The emotional.

Just another day, right?


About Tricia #GrowingUpNelson

First grandaughter, mother of two, lover of books and bad music, aspiring to be a mostly vegan always vegetarian. Nearly 365 days Xanax free and hating it. #GrowingUpNelson

2 responses »

  1. Urgh. What a day.
    I’m going to fixate on number one.
    It gets easier. I promise. The first AF is hard, and your next pregnancy will be hard (and I truly hope for you there will be a next one, and it sticks). But it gets easier. Take it from the chick who’s been there three times. I know it’s not a huge comfort right now, but let yourself wallow. You’re allowed.
    Sending you huge hugs!

  2. Thanks. I know it’ll continue to get easier, I suppose it already has. But I’m a born ignorer/represser and it’s tough on days that there is that blinking, twinkling red arrow pointing you directly at it!!


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